Thursday, October 14, 2010

Fraternising with initiates

Just a quick reflection; every time I attend an ASD-specific workshop, I am struck by how easy it is to communicate with other parents; you never have to elaborate, everyone knows what you mean. Even if your particular situation is not familiar to other participants, everyone there is well schooled in the knowledge that with these kids, pretty much anything is possible.

Naturally, this feels good! I wish I had more of it in my life. Today, we are having a new child over to play, and in the back of my mind is the ongoing preoccupation about whether to "tell" the parents about his diagnosis. Many would say no, but I see how P often fails to greet kids, or answer their questions, or respond to their comments, and I can't help but worry that he will be branded uninterested, or even rude. My expectation is that if I inform the parents, and their child voices any problems or confusion about P's behaviour, the parents might simply be able to point out that maybe he didn't mean to be rude or unpleasant, maybe he had some trouble understanding what they wanted, or maybe he's still learning the rules of friendly playing ... whatever, it is just my hope that parents can help to keep the options open. Our family clearly has a lot to gain from such co-operation, but I would hope that others would also appreciate participating in a concrete opportunity to teach their children about being accepting, rather than judgemental, of difference.

And so all this whirls around in my head and I will wait and try to judge if the moment is right when the parent comes for pick-up. I was more forthright about letting people know last year (although I was never entirely without reticence), but at school, the pool of families is bigger, and the way that such information might be treated is harder to judge. Just one of the things I carry around with me, and I'm certain that I'm not the only one ...

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