Cast Iron Mummy

The boys have gotten into a totally ridiculous rivalry recently over "helping" Q make a smoothie for breakfast. This consists of shrieking insanely when they hear the blender, racing to be the first to press the button, then pressing it repeatedly, the second demanding urgently how many presses the first one did so that he could do more. We've tried to minimise the insane emotional shrillness that this activity triggers by making them take turns (P 1st one day, S the next), and simply lying about who pressed the button how many times, in the hope that, like many of these things, it will just run out of steam; one day, Q will hit the button, and nobody will bother with the charge. But today, S was to be second, and having none of it. I saw red, and held him back while P had his turn. As soon as he was released, S lunged so hard that the drink splashed onto the floor. Q was furious, and I dragged S off to the bathroom till he calmed down. Except that he started kicking the door, so I restrained him, and this time I was determined not to let him go when he was "calm enough", but to make him really sit and snap out of it.

So we held him shifts while we took turns in having our own breakfast, till he was not physically fighting, then not yelling in anger, and then counted quickly to 10 while he was "quiet", ignoring a few sobs that were interjected -- I've never heard a child sob with such attitude. I let go, but he stayed in the bathroom himself for quite some time, roaring, yelling, then plaintively demanding Daddy. We kept away though; for once, he could come to us. Eventually he came out and rejoined the household.

But I was galvanised. Like some kind of initiation ritual, these bouts sometimes leave me with a protective layer, from head to toe, although like little Achilles, I'm sure there are weak spots. For the moment, however, Cast Iron Mummy is In Charge: Cast Iron Mummy demands that every petulant order flung in her direction is recast into a polite request. Cast Iron Mummy has Brushed Hair over howls of pain, and she has Cut Toenails over shrieks of misery. Cast Iron Mummy is fair and just; Cast Iron Mummy acknowledged the suffering with an offering of a lolly each, but Cast Iron Mummy herself is Un-Moved, and will continue, God-like, to dispense Justice and maintain Order for the rest of the Day.