Yesterday I wrote that I hadn't seen the usual physical changes that come with Primo's other developmental leaps. Last night I went to his school concert. I went in numb; 4 previous concerts had left me feeling like an outsider to this process. His parents can see the struggles he goes through, but as usual, for everyone else, it's just kids, it's fine ... This time our jaws literally dropped. He was astounding. He owned it. The moves were coming from the inside, not from copying the child next to him half a beat behind. And he was proud; he did say afterwards that when too many people told him how well he did he wanted to get away, but he sure got the point, felt the truth of it.
So the theory still holds!
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
More good news
A few weeks ago, I picked Primo up from school. He saw the father of a friend, but the friend had been absent that day. I reminded him that his friend's younger sister had started school this year, and the father must be there to pick her up. He thought for a minute, then announced that he wanted to know where his friend had been. He went back, asked the father (whom he does not know particularly well) that question, got the reason for the absence, and was satisfied.
That event stood out, really stood out.
Usually when Primo has developmental leaps, there are clear physical signs as well. These periods of surging forward are generally preceded by difficult times where he is withdrawn and/or volatile. That hasn't been quite so clear this time around, although he has been getting really high praise from the 2 sports coaches that he is involved with. Maybe I just haven't been witnessing his gains so easily now that he's older; maybe they are not quite as clear.
However that may be, in the last 2 weeks or so, the quality of our interactions has become much richer and more sustained. Passing, unsolicited comments are shared with me, much more eye contact from him, much more readiness from him to respond where I am accustomed to silence, much more striving on his part for joint attention, as if he's started to understand what it actually is to share a moment with someone. It's intermittent, but he's really making an effort.
He lost his hat yesterday but told me he'd looked in lost property, that there was a box of hats and it wasn't in there. An unusual amount of information freely volunteered to start with. Today I went to double-check, and as I was turning to leave, saw a second box of hats tucked into a corner, and sure enough, his was there. I brought it out to him and he did all the things you would expect; looked surprised, asked where I'd found it, looked confounded until I explained the second box, his face then finally resolving into a brief expression of closure, before turning back to the business of friends.
It was glorious!
Thinking back to my post yesterday; there are not many people to share these moments with, which is why I am happy to broadcast to the air. I'm sure I read a version of the Midas myth when I was a child, where it was a housemaid who could not keep the secret of his ears and whispered it to a stream. I know that's not the standard version, and secrecy is not he motivation here, but I can't shake the image.
That event stood out, really stood out.
Usually when Primo has developmental leaps, there are clear physical signs as well. These periods of surging forward are generally preceded by difficult times where he is withdrawn and/or volatile. That hasn't been quite so clear this time around, although he has been getting really high praise from the 2 sports coaches that he is involved with. Maybe I just haven't been witnessing his gains so easily now that he's older; maybe they are not quite as clear.
However that may be, in the last 2 weeks or so, the quality of our interactions has become much richer and more sustained. Passing, unsolicited comments are shared with me, much more eye contact from him, much more readiness from him to respond where I am accustomed to silence, much more striving on his part for joint attention, as if he's started to understand what it actually is to share a moment with someone. It's intermittent, but he's really making an effort.
He lost his hat yesterday but told me he'd looked in lost property, that there was a box of hats and it wasn't in there. An unusual amount of information freely volunteered to start with. Today I went to double-check, and as I was turning to leave, saw a second box of hats tucked into a corner, and sure enough, his was there. I brought it out to him and he did all the things you would expect; looked surprised, asked where I'd found it, looked confounded until I explained the second box, his face then finally resolving into a brief expression of closure, before turning back to the business of friends.
It was glorious!
Thinking back to my post yesterday; there are not many people to share these moments with, which is why I am happy to broadcast to the air. I'm sure I read a version of the Midas myth when I was a child, where it was a housemaid who could not keep the secret of his ears and whispered it to a stream. I know that's not the standard version, and secrecy is not he motivation here, but I can't shake the image.
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